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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?